Good things

The phrase "all good things come from God" was rattling around my head the other day. I think it's something they say at St. Paul's. I translated it, as I do with almost everything at St. Paul's, into my words: "all good things come from the Goddess." Well, of course they do. That seems obvious. Everything comes from the Goddess. In Wicca however, we believe that she particularly wants us to enjoy the good things in life.

I immediately thought of a phrase from the Charge of the Goddess: "all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals." This piece is widely used as a sort of "textual" basis for pagan theology. Here is a version from Reclaiming, written by Doreen Valiente and adapted by Starhawk:

Listen to the words of the Great Mother, Who of old was called Artemis, Astarte, Dione, Melusine, Aphrodite, Cerridwen, Diana, Arionrhod, Brigid, and by many other names:

Whenever you have need of anything, once a month, and better it be when the moon is full, you shall assemble in some secret place and adore the spirit of Me Who is Queen of all the Wise.

You shall be free from slavery, and as a sign that you be free you shall be naked in your rites.

Sing, feast, dance, make music and love, all in My Presence, for Mine is the ecstasy of the spirit and Mine also is joy on earth.

For My law is love is unto all beings. Mine is the secret that opens the door of youth, and Mine is the cup of wine of life that is the cauldron of Cerridwen, that is the holy grail of immortality.

I give the knowledge of the spirit eternal, and beyond death I give peace and freedom and reunion with those that have gone before.

Nor do I demand aught of sacrifice, for behold, I am the Mother of all things and My love is poured out upon the earth.

Hear the words of the Star Goddess, the dust of Whose feet are the hosts of Heaven, whose body encircles the universe:

I Who am the beauty of the green earth and the white moon among the stars and the mysteries of the waters,

I call upon your soul to arise and come unto me.

For I am the soul of nature that gives life to the universe.

From Me all things proceed and unto Me they must return.

Let My worship be in the heart that rejoices, for behold, all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals.

Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.

And you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.

For behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am That which is attained at the end of desire.

As I mulled this over, I realized that the opposite is true too...of course. If all things are from the Goddess, then this difficult experience is from her too. At which point, I had to question "Why?"

Why would God want me to have this experience? What am I meant to learn from it?

My first thought, which became so consuming I had a hard time thinking of others, was that I was meant to realize that this is no longer the career for me. Perhaps the Universe put me into a job that I would hate so much that I would finally leave professional communications. And, by the way, there's no question that I was meant to take this job. I had found this firm just before taking my previous job, thought about them repeatedly over the year and half, and when I was suddenly laid off, they were my very first thought. I sent them a letter, just over the transom, and within 6 weeks was starting here with a $10,000 pay raise. I would say it was all a terrible mistake, but there are no mistakes.

The thing is that this line of thinking is particularly convenient, as a way to justify the career change I want to make, so I distrust it a little bit. I really wracked my brains trying to think of other messages I could be receiving from this situation:

- When I first started this job, it was absolutely clear that the move back to consulting was a good one. I really enjoy the variety and novelty of working with different clients. I love being able to do three or four different kinds of projects in a day. Maybe that was the key lesson, and all the rest of this is "gravy" telling me to move on.

- What would I move on to? Another crazy agency? For a while, it felt very clear that I need to work for myself. I could work from home, set my own hours, work on projects that I choose, and generally avoid the fallout of others' dysfunction. I had even convinced myself that the Great Recession was the perfect time to start a business - people aren't hiring staff or full-scale agencies, but still need their communications work done on the cheap. For now, there's just no way to make this a reality. I'd need at least one, if not two, steady, substantial clients - and there are none on the horizons. I've also been cluing in to the downsides of being your own boss: the constant pressure to be working and hustling new clients.

- Maybe I'm meant to go back to the non-profit route, becoming an Executive Director of an organization whose cause I believe in. Maybe. But they're not lining up at the door for me.

It's just not clear yet and probably won't be until more of the story has unfolded. For now, I know that the next step on my path will meet me when I get there, and that the Goddess wants me to enjoy the journey!