Until a week ago, I felt that my job situation was in my hands, and I had to DO something about it. This led to a great deal of purposeless fretting and activity. It would have been one thing if I had been able to spend my time applying to jobs, but there are no jobs to apply for. News flash: it's a recession. So, instead of actual productive work towards my goal of a new job, I've been caught in this whirlwind. I've spent a lot of time obsessing over what I could do to change the situation. Could we move? Could I change my career?
Now that I am thinking this is in God's hands, I feel as if there is nothing to do but wait. For the path to become clear, for the opportunity to arise. And it reminds me of the other times in my life I waited -- and the lessons I learned from them.
Most recently, we had a arduous year waiting for our adoption process (preceded by a year of trying to decide how to become parents and years of waiting to be ready to parent). It wasn't a long wait, as much as a rocky one. There were disappointments along the way, then a period that seemed very bleak, when nothing was happening (much like now). We struggled to find a way to cope. I eventually resolved to Count My Blessings, to focus on what I have in my life not on what was missing. And of course, in the end, we are so profoundly fortunate for the opportunity to parent the most amazing kid. We have a great relationship with his birthfamily, and we were able to be in the room when he was born. All worked out for the best - thank you, Goddess.
For the majority of my life, I was waiting to find my life partner. From 15 on, I knew I wanted to be paired, had lots of long-term relationships, but despaired of ever finding the right one. After a series of rocky breakups, I finally took a time out, gave myself six months to just be myself. When I got back in the game, I met Papa D, and we've been happily together for 10 years.
I learned several things from this experience. First, the best way to create your own future to live your life. This seems an important lesson now and definitely goes along with the Count Your Blessings approach. Second, you have to make yourself right in order to attract the best outcomes to you. It's less clear to me how this applies to work than love. Lastly, you do have to be active in your search. I didn't just meet Papa D by sitting at home, and I'm not going to get a job by doing nothing either. But it's more of an openness to opportunities than the fruitless searching.
What can I do now to get through this waiting period?
- Pray for peace and patience, for understanding of my path, for knowing the right thing when it comes
- Live life and focus on what I have
- Get busy by volunteering and learning new things
- Be grateful
