aby E is becoming a big boy, walking and "talking" (with sign language). At every age, I feel like "This is my favorite age." It just keeps getting more and more fun.
The happiest moment of my day is when Baby E gets home from daycare and sees me and runs toward me and is so excited to see me he laughs his little head off.
As he toddled toward me this weekend, with a huge smile on his face, I was struck by a realization.
This is why I became a mother. I wanted to be loved like this.
I have loved many children, but it was always colored with sadness and regret. I was never as important to those children as they were to me. I was just the older sister who left for college before they can remember, the aunt who lived 3,000 miles away, the godmother who moved away, or just some random adult.
Being loved by a baby is the experience that I have been dreaming of. I am perfect in his eyes - he doesn't see my wrinkles, plus sized clothes, undereye circles or other flaws. He doesn't know about my tendency to procrastinate, criticize or other character defects. When he looks at me, I feel perfect and perfectly loved.
You didn't leave for college before I can remember and you have always been important to me. Not important like you are to E, but it's always been nice to know there was an older sister out there, checking out the road ahead for me, as it were :) Thank you!
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