I wasn't raised Christian, so I don't have an easy familiarity with all the Christian linguistic mannerisms. For the last 13 years, I've been a practicing Witch, so I'm used to a whole different theological language.
I think I must be sitting in the service furrowing my brow the whole time as I try to translate the prayers, hymns, and sermons into language that makes sense to me. Then I struggle again with language as I write this journal.
If I use "God," it sometimes feels false. I fear it gives people an impression of me as a traditionally religious person, as if I'm in the closet.
In real life, I have tried to stop using "God," and I use "Google" instead. So you'll hear me say "Thank Google for that!" or "Where on Google Earth did that come from?"
I'd feel more comfortable if my readers knew that, when I use "God," I use it as a "nickname" for the Goddess, the Great Mother, creator/animator/destructor of all things, an infinite being with uncountable manifestations across history and continents.
"God" is a shortcut for me. You'll never hear me use the word "Lord" unless it's in reference to something like "The Lord's Prayer." Even the word "pray" is fraught for me - doesn't it conjure an image of a child kneeling by her bed with her hands clasped together?
I should remind myself of other images of prayer - the upraised hands of the Hindu kirtan or the prostrate posture of the Muslim. These words can call up many meanings, just as there are many faces of the Goddess and God.
I do that too - translate into my own "language of the divine". The post-modern thinker in me loves it.. we're all saying the same thing. But sometimes I wonder how much gets lost in translation. I can think of "the fall" and "original sin" as "the rift between self an nature brought about by conciousness".. but isn't there something inherent in the concept of "original sin" I'm discounting by translating?
ReplyDeleteIn the end I think we need more togetherness and translating does that well. But at night, or on a walk, when I'm really thinking about it, I wonder if the gaps in theology are really too wide to bridge.